Carlo Lorge reviews motorcycle movies #4

“Headless Horseman” – A Review of a Really Bad Motorcycle Movie.

By Carlo Lorge

This movie had all the feel of a 1990s straight-to-VHS release. But I liked it—because sometimes, I like bad movies.

Here are all the problems with the movie:

As you can see in this picture, the CGI was very low-grade. This is from the final cut of the movie, wow that’s bad.

I don’t want to give too much away, but the guy who becomes the Headless Horseman is never decapitated. Nor is he “nearly decapitated” like it says in the synopsis on Amazon Video and IMDb. He is repeatedly shot in the body—that’s how he dies and becomes the Horseman. But nothing ever happens to his neck or head.

After becoming the headless horseman his head never comes off. It’s occasionally covered by a really bad CGI Jack-o’-lantern. 

This movie is more like Ghost Rider from Marvel Comics than The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving, which actually features the Headless Horseman. The only resemblance is that, in the cartoon movie version, they use a jack-o’-lantern as his head. In the original short story, the Headless Horseman throws his severed head—not a jack-o’-lantern.

To make things even more ridiculous (or maybe to make the story unique), the Headless Horseman no longer eats food—he drinks blood. This vampiric ability does nothing to add to the story at all. It’s just what he does when he’s hungry.

He’s also given this… what I can only describe as a glove that rips off Wolverine, Freddy Krueger, and those gas station knives. You know the ones I’m talking about. They looked really cool when you were a kid—decorated with skulls and spikes. As an adult, you realize they look tacky and would probably hurt you more than whatever you’re trying to cut.

Before I forget—really bad acting. For example, this guy gets murdered—shot like a billion times—and his fiancée’s reaction is… mild concern at seeing him riddled with bullets. Yet, throughout the movie, she keeps professing her love for him over and over again. You’d think she’d show more emotion at seeing the love of her life murdered. 

The motorcycle on the advertisement… what is that? A Honda Rebel, maybe? It’s not even the bike used in the movie. I think they actually use a Harley-Davidson FXE Super Glide, but don’t quote me on that. Whatever it is, it looks way better than the bike on the cover. I wish they would have hired me to make the saddlebags for that bike. 

Was I entertained watching this movie? Yeah, I was. It reminded me of staying up late as a kid, watching cheesy movies on USA Up All Night. 90s late-night cable TV was weird—this was weird.

As of today, this movie is streaming on Freevee and Prime Video. If you have some time to waste on a movie that doesn’t matter—and isn’t that good—go check it out.